Showing posts with label Dog2. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dog2. Show all posts

Dog For Sale ....

Whether you own a dog or not, you must appreciate the efforts of this owner to sell her dog. Read the sales pitch below!

Dog For Sale

Free to good home. Excellent guard dog. Owner cannot afford to feed him anymore, as there are no more drug pushers, thieves, murderers, or molesters left in the neighborhood for him to eat. Most of them knew Jethro only by his Oriental street name, Ho Lee Schit.

A trip to Costco

A TRIP TO COSTCO

Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

 What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's backside and a car hit us both.

 I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
 Costco won't let me shop there anymore.

 Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.
 Sumitted by Vince